Frolicking through the mint fields with a bottle of Bacardi

In Which: Our Hero Drags Himself From Restful Slumber Within Minutes Of Having To Be Smartly Attired And Waiting For His Chauffeur, Drinks Heavily, Sees The Glory Of The Lord, Drinks Heavily, Smuggles Cider, And Ends The Evening At A Party (Apparently).

I went to a wedding on Saturday. It was in the middle of the countryside, and the weather was rather nice. It was single-handedly the strangest ceremony that I've ever seen - Rob 'The Dazzler' was ordained for the occasion, so the ceremony was quite unconventional, having none of the restricting shackles of religious tradition. The strange bit, however, was not the fact that we were all standing in the middle of a field listening to a ceremony that was erring more towards a comedy routine than a church service - no, the most surreal bit was when we all had to sing, A Capella, all four verses and refrains of 'Glory Glory Hallelujah', the famous American abolitionist hymn.

Kind of like the awkward half singing that characterises Happy Birthday around the globe, everyone started off in their own key, and then arranged themselves into factions, grouped together in three or four different keys, singing parallel to each other, with a few floaters in between, undecided and liberal with their tonal affections. This is a rare and special form of harmony which rarely sees light except for on these special occasions, and always brings a tear to my eye.

Anyway, the ceremony was all over by about three o'clock, from which point there was studious drinking seen from everyone. I tried my darnedest to get through all available options, but in the limited time before I got a lift home at twelve I could only get through the ale, lager-beer, both white wines, rosé, three reds, a bottle of Prosecco, a couple of mojitos, and a gin and tonic. By the time I left I realised there were a few more bits for me to try, so I had to smuggle all I could into the car with me, which unfortunately amounted to little more than a Magners, which looked pretty good in the dark behind the bar, but I have to say was very disappointing. Not the best way to end the evening.

I think I went to a party afterwards and probably just shouted at some people. I don't really remember.

As with most photos it would be much better if there wasn't someone else clogging up the frame. Unfortunately this picture comes courtesy of May-Kui, and she only posted photographs with her in them, stupid woman. I also think this would be better if I was wearing the hat, but unfortunately my head is so massive and unwieldy it didn't fit.